Couples face any number of challenges during relationships, but perhaps none is so daunting as talking about and reaching common ground regarding money.
Fortunately there’s help available.
“Part of the job of the professional is to bring up these topics that you may know in your heart of hearts that you should be having,” said Daly Andersson, private wealth advisor with Busey Wealth Management, “but (we) make it a little bit more approachable and less daunting — because (we) deal with it every day.”
Repeated studies have shown financial issues are a leading cause of divorce in America. Getting help can be a key toward setting you and your spouse on an appropriate path.
The first step, of course, is to acknowledge something that’s difficult to bring up.
“It’s sometimes the elephant in the room,” Andersson said. “While it’s an uncomfortable topic for spouses to discuss, it’s really important.”
Where to go from there?
“A good starting point would be coming to the same page about what your personal spending habits are,” Andersson said. “How do you view money? What are your habits? Really understanding your loved one’s attitude toward money because everybody is coming from a different place. It’s important to compromise and come to an understanding with each other. Along those lines you really want to make sure you’re fully disclosing your financial situation to each other.”
Determine your financial goals and priorities. “This can be a fun conversation, hopefully,” she said. “Just brainstorming about what financial things are important to you in your future. It might be saving money to put your kids through college, saving for retirement, buying a second home, paying down your mortgage. It’s good to start from the point of trying to understand each other, rather than just jumping in and making the plan.”
Implement a plan. “A budget is really critical,” Andersson said. “Having an understanding of where your income is going or how you’re spending it is really important. Sometimes that can be hard. It’s hard to agree on, but a lot of time people don’t track their spending. (Busey’s Finance Works is an online option that tracks your spending.)
Create an estate plan. “An even more taboo subject than finances is the estate plan,” she said. “That’s part of my role as an advisor is to bring these things up because a lot of times they’re conversations that haven’t been had or have been put off because they’re very uncomfortable. Especially if you have young children it’s really important to have a will, at a minimum.”
While Andersson isn’t a marriage counselor, she understands the important role an impartial voice can play in helping couples.
“Sometimes it feels like (a counselor),” she said with a laugh. “Sometimes it’s just beneficial and comforting to have a third party who is a professional in the area and has no stake in the game at all. They’re there to listen to both of you and help glean out what are those key things that are important to each couple.”
To discuss your financial future, you can reach Andersson at (217) 365-4876 or daly.andersson@busey.com.