Thank you to Parkland College for sponsoring today’s Chambana Mom to Know. Parkland College has many opportunities for families in our community – from College for Kids this summer, to classes for degree-seeking students of all ages, to continuing education offerings for all ages. Registration for 2016 Summer Session starts April 4 for new students. College for Kids registration starts April 4—bring summer fun and enrichment to your 3rd- through 8th-grader. Parkland College: Go Ahead, Get Ahead.
Stacey (LaBrecque) Cole is the once-shy, single mom to a child with disabilities who now prides herself on being the outspoken, “bold” girl with little filter and an infectious laugh you can hear from the other side of town. She is a Champaign native and lives with her saint of a husband, Terry Cole, Jr. (T.C.) and is “advocate on overdrive” mom to Kody (20), dazzling step-mom to Jazzmine (14) and “you’re getting there” mom to Tre (7).
Stacey graduated summa cum laude from the University of Illinois in 2004 and has worked for the University of Illinois for 17 years. She started her professional journey as a secretary at the UI Foundation in 1999 and is now the director of development for the College of ACES where she gets to spend her time traveling the country raising money for scholarships and making lifelong friends with students, alums and some of the world’s most extraordinary people. She is known for providing mentoring, guidance and laughter to current College of ACES students, and assuming the role of “mom away from mom.” Stacey was the brainchild behind a record-breaking scholarship initiative that led thousands of college students to make a difference by paying it forward.
In 2015 (and just under the wire), she was named the Central Illinois Business Magazine’s Forty Under 40 “Woman of the Year.” Like most moms, she continues to dream of the elusive “Mother of the Year” title.
In her spare time, she speaks transparently on her blog about the tragedies and triumphs of raising a teenager with mental and behavioral challenges. She also enjoys adding more to her orange and blue closet collection and writing about herself in the third person. Currently, she is exploring motivational speaking opportunities where she can inspire and motivate others to struggle and laugh out loud.
See why we think Stacey is a Chambana Mom to Know.
Q: How did you feel when you were named Woman of the Year?
Imagine you just won the Powerball. That’s exactly how I felt. Instantly numb. Overcome with emotions. Disbelief. Embarrassed. Ecstatic. Valued. Meaningful. Accomplished. Humbled. Grateful. An honor I will hold on the highest shelf.
Q: How did your experience at Parkland influence your career?
Parkland College provided me with much-needed preparation and, ultimately, was my portal to two degrees (including one from the University of Illinois). As a non-traditional student (single mom, full and part-time jobs, and evening/online classes), Parkland really turned the dream of a college education into a reality for me. The top-notch education I received here really paved the way for a future filled with success and that led me to the profession I have been in for over 16 years.
Q: What is your message for other parents with children who are struggling with behavioral issues and/or mental illness?
It’s OK to struggle out loud. The struggle is real.
Life doesn’t always come wrapped in a pretty box. Life and people are unpredictable. Not all wounds are visible, but they are equally painful. The more awareness you have, the greater your chance of tackling it. We naturally want to “fix” everything for our kids and others. Know up front that this will absolutely not be something you can fix; you will need help and that’s OK. This is a marathon; not a sprint.
Some of the best decisions you will ever make for your child and your family will be the toughest. Challenge status quo. Your greatest gift during difficult times is your mind; rely on it. Trust your instincts. Be prepared to step outside your comfort zone and take risks. You may talk to 100 people before you find that one person who changes the entire ballgame; don’t give up. If you can’t figure out or find a way, make your own.
Your faith will be tested beyond measure, but your strength will endure. Its like the old adage, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. If you are depleted, you’ve got nothing to give to those around you. Invest in a good therapist.
Life has its way of balancing things out. None of us can do this alone. Surround yourself with people who care about and love you because there will be many.
Q: You seem to be a big feeler. What chokes you up the most?
Reflecting on all that I have overcome and what I have been able to accomplish. Thinking about what my oldest son, Kody, has had to endure and the toll this entire gut-wrenching situation has taken on our family. On the flip side … thinking about Kody’s resiliency and tenacity and how very proud I am of him. I can’t help but get choked up when I think of the countless people who followed my blog about Kody and acted. Most importantly, when I think about the depth of love I have for those I love the most — my family.
Q: Tell us about the student giving campaign you started at the University of Illinois:
The “I Pay it Forward: Students Helping Students Scholarship Campaign” (IPIF) is a month-long initiative that was created in 2014. Students in the College of ACES at the U of I rallied together and pooled what little money they had in an effort to create scholarships for their peers who were at-risk of leaving college due to financial hardship. The point of this was to show how huge of an impact we are able to make when we come together. Within a mere four weeks, our students raised over $17,000. These funds allowed us to immediately award $1,000 financial need scholarships to 17 college students. One of the students who received this scholarship literally had his bags packed; he will now graduate in May. Last year, we raised even more: $20,000. This April will be our last IPIF campaign so we have set a goal of $25,000, which is the minimum amount needed to establish an endowment at the University of Illinois. You do not need to be a student to make a gift; all gifts are welcome (and tax deductible … cough cough, hint hint).
Q: What’s something people don’t know about you?
I suffer from depression and anxiety.
Q: What’s your favorite thing to do as a family in Champaign-Urbana?
We bleed orange and blue, so naturally we love to cheer on the Fighting Illini at athletic events. We attend as many games as we can; football is our favorite sporting event to attend as a family.
I travel quite a bit for work so being at home together is special to us. My husband and I were both born and raised here and our parents live here so we enjoy crashing on their couches as well.
Q: Given the response to your story and your message to parents, have you given thought to becoming a motivational speaker?
Every single day. Oh my goodness, YES!!! YES! YES!! This has, thanks to chance and opportunity, become a dream of mine. Considering I am never at a loss for words or stories, I am thinking this could be a very self-sustaining business. As a matter of fact, I get amazing practice at this on a daily basis with friends and co-workers (and, often times, complete strangers).
I absolutely owe my story – the failures and victories, triumphs and tragedies, desires and discoveries — to myself and to other people. It’s a win-win.
Q: Where do you draw your strength from?
From life’s storms, from those I surround myself with and from within. “A woman is like a tea bag - - you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Stacey Cole was nominated to be a Chambana mom to know. Nominate a mom or dad today — it’s easy!