By Kelly Youngblood
It’s been several months since my 7-year-old son was officially diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and I’m just now starting to grasp what that really means for him and for me.
And all I really know is that it’s hard.
It’s hard to hear that first teacher tell you, “He’s really bright. If he could just focus …”
It’s hard to hear another teacher refer to your son as a “train wreck.”
It’s hard to hear another parent say, “Stay away from that kid.”
It’s hard to hear other kids say, “He’s crazy.”
It’s hard to hear a doctor tell you he recommends medication.
It’s hard to accept that ADHD is about much more than just not being able to focus.
It’s hard to accept that I have a child who has special needs.
I have to admit, I was in denial for quite some time too. And unfortunately, when I didn’t believe he had ADHD, I lost my patience with him quite frequently.
Homework was truly a nightmare, something I had to brace myself for every day. I would get so frustrated; how could he read a word on one page and then completely forget the same word by the next page? Why couldn’t he just sit still and do his work?
Now I know.
Recently, he was reading to me and it was late (way past bedtime) and we had been off schedule and off medicine for a day or two. I was hesitant to even attempt it but we did. He actually did really well, except he just couldn’t remember how to pronounce one of the character’s names (Ryan) throughout the entire book.
“Rennie, Ronnie, Ryan!” he would finally proclaim.
We actually laughed about it and I asked him, (more gently than I would have months before), “I wonder why you can’t remember that name?”
“It just floats in and floats out,” he said.
That moment was so telling to me. In that moment, I realized what it must feel like to him to have ADHD.
It’s been a rough road trying to figure out his diagnosis, starting medication, and hoping and praying everything works out OK. So far, he’s doing great and we are seeing lots of improvement in many areas.
But I know this is something that won’t go away anytime soon. It will be something we have to deal with his entire life and I’m finally starting to feel OK with that.
Once I let go of what I thought the way things should be and accepted them as they were, I felt a lot better. Now, instead of wasting my time being frustrated about it, I’m learning how to be his number one advocate.
I read every article I can on the subject. I’ve reached out to other moms who share similar struggles. I know what makes his life easier and try to avoid things I know might have a negative impact on his day (no structure, lack of sleep, too much stimulation, etc.) I’m hopeful for him and his future.
Being a parent is hard. I’m not sure if being a parent to a child with ADHD is harder, but it definitely presents different challenges. Regardless, my job is still the same — to love him and support him in any way I can to make sure he is the best person he can possibly be.
And right now, I think he’s pretty amazing.