By Kelly Youngblood
For the first two year’s of my son’s life, I was like Robo-Mom. I fought off every germ, bacteria, microbe and potential threat of danger with a machine-like determination.
Then I had my second son and I had to let go of some of my fears (and my infatuation with Germ X). I just didn’t have the time or energy to be so paranoid.
After our third child was born? Forget about it!
No, seriously. I pretty much forgot everything at that point.
Call me a veteran mom. A seasoned mom. Possibly a jaded mom.
Whatever term you prefer, I’m actually a happier mom now. I worry less about germs and pretty much everything else that could go wrong when it comes to raising children.
And let me tell you, it’s a liberating, relief-inducing feeling to realize:
a.) your kids are pretty resilient
b.) you are pretty resilient
c.) you don’t have to perfect
d.) your kids don’t have to be perfect
So join me, if you will, in rejoicing in this new season of my life. Where the mother guilt and paranoia is reduced (even if it’s only temporary) and the lofty dreams have been replaced with realistic expectations.
And if you can relate to any of the following experiences, you might be a seasoned mom too!
1. This all happened in one day. My oldest son fell off the playground and hit his head. My middle son swam all day, swallowed gallons of pool water, then proceeded to throw up in my car. My youngest ate a mysterious berry off of our neighbor’s bush. Although I had minor concerns about concussions, secondary drownings, and poisonings, I thoughtfully considered and then refrained from taking any of them to the ER. I’m happy to report, they are all still alive and well today!
2. I no longer volunteer for every single opportunity to help out in the classroom. It won’t scar them for life if I miss their Valentine’s Day/Halloween/Christmas party. It will not deprive them of happy childhood memories. Besides, when they’re in school, I get a little reprieve. And those “little reprieves” are kind of what keep me going. Didn’t someone really smart once say “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,”?
3. Speaking of absences, mommy needs a break. So if you are between the ages of 13-85 and have no criminal history, you can babysit my children. I’ve finally realized I’m not the only person in this world capable of keeping them alive. And if I don’t get a sanity break every now and then via a babysitter, I am no longer the person capable of keeping them alive.
4. I forget things a lot. I haven’t forgotten my kids anywhere yet but I am not as organized or on top of things as I used to be. Homework assignments, lunch money, baseball pictures, class snacks, field trip permission slips etc. have all been inadvertently overlooked this year. It’s just all too much to remember! But I forgive myself pretty easily too. It’s just another “oops!” in a series of minor motherhood infractions.
5. I now believe cereal is a suitable dinner option. So liberating!!! So are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, fix a home-cooked meal every night. I refuse to do it. Especially when I know the picky eaters in this family will take two bites and tell me, “It’s gross. What are those specks in it? Can we have cereal instead?”
6. Getting professional pictures taken of my kids used to be as regular as their well-baby check-ups. Then I would dutifully mail out the prints to all of our family members and include an update on each child. Now? Isn’t that what Facebook is for? I also don’t record those “momentous” milestone moments very regularly anymore. Maybe I’ll look back one day and regret not writing down when my six year old lost his third baby tooth but I’m guessing I will be able to live with myself.
7. I’m a lot less judge-y and don’t worry as much about what other moms and dads are doing with their kids. So what if they let their kids stay up late on a school night? Why do I care if they use candy as a reward at their house? They started giving their baby rice cereal already? No big deal. I’m sure I’ve been a hypocrite over the years- criticizing other people’s parenting choices and then doing the exact things I “disapproved” of. I’ve realized while many of us moms do things differently, most of us are doing the best we can for our kids.
8. I don’t obsess too much about comparing my kids to other kids anymore either. No more sleepless nights worrying when my daughter will be fully potty-trained or when my son will give up his beloved sippy cup. It’s really true- they do it when they are good and ready.
9. I now realize my kids aren’t perfect. It was nice for awhile to be able to blame my kids’ bad behavior on that obnoxious boy in playgroup who I always saw as a “bad influence.” Alas, I’ve accepted the fact that my kids, (yes, my perfect little angels) can actually be the guilty culprits who instigate trouble. Motherhood is humbling. But I know I’m not perfect, so how can I expect my children to be?
There’s still so much to learn on this journey of motherhood, but I feel like I’ve finally made it through the initiation phase.
I try not to sound pretentious when I share my small bits of wisdom with those who are just beginning their journey. I remember being a newbie mom listening to all of the unsolicited advice and thinking, “I don’t need your advice. I got this.”
But nowadays, I’m not as afraid to admit mistakes or ask for help. We’re all in this together aren’t we? And we could all use some extra help when it comes to parenting.
Share with us, when did you realize you might be seasoned mom?
Kelly is a freelance writer and a mom to three wild and wonderful children. She has lived in the C-U area for most of her life but is still finding new and interesting things to do in the area.
