By Erin Knowles
A year ago October my Facebook newsfeed was littered with pages and friends posting and reposting an article from the Huffington Post “The Mom Stays in the Picture”. In spite of the signs that this was something significant, I kept scrolling over, thinking “what’s the big deal”? Perhaps because as a photographer I believe in and understand the significance of pictures, so I wasn’t in the mood at the time to read another article on the importance of “staying in the picture”. Besides, I absolutelypositively DESPISE seeing myself in pictures. So it was just better allaround that I politely stay out of the conversation, right?
But then, my friend Angie posted the article to her Facebook wall, and mentioned how it brought her to tears and that she needed to buck up and start staying in the picture. And I thought if the article had that much impact on her, perhaps I should take a few minutes in my day and read the article for myself.
I was speechless.
I quickly started searching through our photos from since our son was born (4 years prior at the time), all 25,000+ of them. Multiple terabytes of data, and I could count on two hands, ONCE, of how many I was actually IN the picture. I realized at that moment what
a hypocrite I was.
I routinely tell clients and close friends that what I love about taking people’s photos are those inbetween moments, when they aren’t “posing” for the picture, when guards are let down, and the authenticity of the moment come through. It doesn’t matter if a hair is out
of place, or that no one is actually looking at the camera or smiling. I’m not looking for perfection; I’m just looking for a little piece of themselves to appear in front of me.
Our lives are messy, uncoifed, and chaotic. We don’t often find ourselves prancing in the woods or beautiful gardens in our nicest clothes, but we do find ourselves routinely laying on our soft bellies on the hardwood floor playing cars, or working on a puzzle, or picking up a weekold(+) carrot from under the couch. I never imagined that in my late 30’s I’d be taking fewer showers per week than I did in college. Or that I would consider a successful day as one that we all emerged, unscathed, from the cruel realities of life and
bumpy, concrete sidewalks.
I was taking all of these photos as a way for us to remember their youth, but also for our kids to have a record when they are older to remind them of where they came from, and what their journey looked like: both smiles and bruises. But they didn’t just come into the
world by themselves, or board a plane and go visit San Diego by themselves. All of these things we did as a family, and it was high time I started documenting ALL of us instead of just the two of them.
Years from now our kids aren’t going to be looking at these pictures and judging our (perceived) double chins or messy hair (well, perhaps our styles will be a little dated, but so what, right?!). They are going to look at the pictures and think about the moments: celebrating birthdays, holidays, adoption days, family gettogethers, building Bob that Snowman (and spraying red liquefied jello to give him underwear), and trips to the park.
So this holiday season give your kids, and yourself, the greatest gift of all: get IN the picture, smile, frown, make silly faces OWN your place in this world and the ground you support your children on and show them how not to allow fear enter the documentation of their lives by our absence in it. Don’t allow excuses of not having the right equipment prevent you from standing in, any “camera” will do: 99.9% of my personal pictures are taken with my iPhone.
Dame Freya Stark once said “There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” I know YOU know that you need to GET in (or STAY in) the picture.
So what are you waiting for?