By Molly Pankau
Is that pink ribbon you’re wearing saving my friend’s life?
It’s “Pinktober” and everywhere I look I see that stinkin’ pink ribbon! I used to really be into Pinktober, thinking how great it was to see so much support for fighting breast cancer and finding a cure, now not so much, I’m over it. Breast cancer has been on the forefront of my mind for nearly a year now. It was just a little less than a year ago that I was having pain and felt a lump. I went to my doctor, she sent me for my first mammogram and sonogram, and thankfully I only had a cyst that has since gone away.
Little did I know, merely a month later, a very good friend of mine, Sara, would not have such good news, she was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. Since December, she has undergone chemo, a double mastectomy and endured radiation while being away from her family for five weeks, and she still has chemo every 3 weeks for 9 more months and won’t have reconstruction until then either. A few years ago, I lost my friend Maria to breast cancer, she had two very small children and an adoring husband. Now, a local woman, Jen, (a chambana mom to know) whom many of my friends went to high school with and I have many mutual friends with, recently passed away from stage IV Metastatic breast cancer.
As I watch my friends and their journeys with breast cancer, I can’t help but notice the world of pink around me. Here’s the thing… all the pink ribbons, the t shirts, hats, shoes, bumper stickers, tattoos, fund-raising walks/runs (and tons of ludicrous other marketing items)… have they done anything for my friends or others with breast cancer? I know what you’re saying: “But wait Molly, I bought those because it was a fundraiser.”
But WHAT was it raising money for?! Do you know? Honestly, do you know? You probably don’t. AND you would probably be shocked to hear where a lot of that money goes, because it’s not to help women with breast cancer or to find a cure. “But wait you say, it’s at least raising awareness!” Well, I guess, but awareness about what? Don’t you think we all know about breast cancer now, that we know to check our breasts, get mammograms, etc? Here’s the thing, in the past few months, I have learned SO much more about what awareness means, it’s not the kind of awareness your bucket of chicken from KFC is promoting!
1) Awareness is beyond just checking your breasts: it’s about knowing your rights, advocating for yourself when a doctor won’t listen, it’s about the fact that YOU know more about your body than the doctors, (if your gut is telling you something, listen)! Awareness is fighting with your insurance company if you have to. And it’s about getting someone to advocate with and for you if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. Awareness is SO much more than checking your breasts and getting a mammogram.
2) Awareness means GET A SECOND OPINION If Sara hadn’t gotten a second opinion at Mayo, the local hospital would have done her mastectomy first, before chemo (Mayo did chemo first) and cut right through the 3rd spot of cancer (which Mayo found) that the local hospital didn’t detect. It’s not hurting your doctor’s feelings, it doesn’t cost too much, it’s your life, do it.
3) More importantly, it’s time to move beyond awareness and companies branding the pink ribbon, it’s time for a cure. It’s time for companies to STOP hiding behind the pink ribbon as awareness just so they can increase their pocketbooks. It’s time for consumers to start putting that money they think is raising money for “breast cancer awareness” into something that really DOES help the patient or is actively working for a cure. Period. And I’m sorry to say, the Komen foundation, while very visible and forefront gives less than 2% of it’s funds to research in finding a cure for the one form of breast cancer that is an automatic death sentence, stage IV, which ironically is what Susan G Komen died of, as well as our friend Jen.
Pink, Pinktober, The Pink Ribbon these are not “the in thing”, not a trend, the cool thing to do, not a fun social event or just a cute t shirt. Let’s be done with “saving the tatas” and “feeling your boobies” because 1) breast cancer is real, it’s not a cute slogan or a catchy phrase 2) women are so much more than their breasts! How about we save our friends, mothers, sisters, wives, aunts, grandmas and daughters rather than just their boobs.
So… October, the infamous Breast Cancer Awareness Month, is upon us and before you jump on a bandwagon that is really a money train, do a little research. There are SO many reputable cancer fund-raising programs that do a lot of good. I know for a fact that the American Cancer Society does amazing things for women with breast cancer and others with cancer. Also, Jen Smith, has some great links on her blog of the more reputable organizations that are worth giving your money too. Or better yet, why not just give that money directly to a family affected by breast cancer (so you might not get a flashy t shirt, but is that really the point)? Jen also has written 2 books “Learning to Live Legendary” and “What you might NOT know” so if you want to help her son and his future you can buy them.
Here are the links to Jen’s recommendations:
http://www.livinglegendary.org/top10/
http://www.livinglegendary.org/2012/09/20/think-before-you-pink/
http://www.livinglegendary.org/2012/10/10/worst-nightmare/
Molly Pankau and her husband Randy are both townies, raising their 3 kids, Alyssa 10, Luke 8, and Sam 6, in their “Prehistoric East Urbana” home, or as they affectionately call it “their conservative island in a sea of liberalism” all while embracing the diversity, love, friendships (and hippies) found within that sea. Formerly a special educator, turned stay at home mom, Molly has found new freedom, now that all of her kids are in school, after 10 years in the trenches, which she has dubbed “The year of Molly”.