Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we’ve had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It’s time for saying goodbye
– Muppets Take Manhattan
Last week I was driving to work when I experienced an episode of sudden onset spontaneous tears.
It was a conversation I had read on Twitter between one friend and another, about one friend’s upcoming move away from Champaign-Urbana, that made me cry that ugly cry. The type of cry that means you have to fix your face before you freak out the next person you see.
This is the time of year that brings about change around here. Friends move out, friends move on. And then a new crop — possible new friends — moves back in. Champaign-Urbana is a transient place, and this summer will be no different. When the heart and hearth of a community is a University, saying goodbye to friends is part and parcel of living around here.
Spring and summer bring so many possibilities. They also bring upon us the season of loss.
I am so thrilled for my friend Lisa, who will be leaving her job here for a wonderful career opportunity at another university. She had told me about the job opportunity and kept me abreast of interview process, so it was no surprise when I heard the news that she was chosen. But her leaving will leave another divot in my heart.
Some people meet their mates online – I have met some of my best friends that way. Lisa is one of the kindred spirits I connected with because of my online activity, years ago. We met for the first time in person at Urbana’s Market at the Square, and little did I know then how much she would come to mean to me.
Some people you just click with.
Although months have gone between cherished lunches or chance meetings, I have always treasured the time we’ve had together. Lisa has been there as a sounding board when I’ve needed career advice; we’ve commiserated about children, family, childcare; yes, even husbands. She is just a kindred spirit, a sharp-witted, amazing woman whom I have been blessed to call my friend.
I know it’s not the end of our friendship but rather a new beginning. We’ll find a way to keep in touch in spite of our busy lives, a way that still has meaning.
Because that’s what we’ll do. We always have.
I know people who won’t open their hearts to people they know won’t stick around here very long. For me, life is too short — and true friends too precious — to put up such walls. So, I make myself vulnerable. After all, I was one of those people who came here never planning to stay. And was one of those people who left, never planning to return.
The other morning my Muppets-obsessed children were watching Muppets Take Manhattan. At one point in the movie, the Muppets disperse after they graduate from college, landing jobs all over the country — and they sing the song I have quoted from above and below. My 6-year-old told me how said it made her.
Get used to it, kid.
Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things we have to do in life. And although we have become veterans at it — somehow it never gets any easier.
Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I don’t know just when
You’re in my heart, so until then
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye
La la la la la la la la
It’s time for saying goodbye
Laura Weisskopf Bleill is the co-founder and editor of chambanamoms.com. You can reach her at laura@chambanamoms(dot)com.