Last week, as I sat nursing my baby for the 25th time that day, I saw my good friend Amy tweet a link to a blog post titled “10 Things Breastfeeding Advocates Need To Stop Saying”.
I opened it out of curiousity, and because research shows that people are more likely to read something if it is a list. So I’m a statistic.
Anyway, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t saying anything wrong. Instead I recognized what I already knew — and perhaps I shouldn’t say this in public, but I will: I envy moms who don’t breastfeed and are perfectly sound with their decision, if they had one.
Many women aren’t able to breastfeed, for various reasons. I do have a “choice,” in theory. But I have totally bought into a lot of the 10 things breastfeeding advocates need to stop saying.
That’s not to say that I’m unhappy that I have nursed all of my children (one for 14 months, the other 12, and now with the third). But it hasn’t been easy or natural. I’ve spent many an hour at the Carle Breastfeeding Clinic – seeking help with latching and positioning, weigh-ins, and more. Physically, I’ve endured it all – PAIN, mastitis, plugged ducts, thrush, a ductal yeast infection, a medical condition that makes breastfeeding that much more challenging. My supply isn’t the greatest — so I pump like crazy. And who likes nursing bras?
The reality is that sometimes I resent it. I resent that I have to spend so much time chained to a chair to feed my baby. I’m not comfortable nursing in public and although I have a master’s degree, I’ve never been able to finagle wearing my baby in a sling, must less nursing in one. Breastmilk isn’t extremely portable; leaving the house with the baby can be a challenge when you don’t want to whip it out.
Many women would stop. But I persisted through it — not because I’m a hero, far from it. I have persisted it because I decided in my mind that I had no other choice, no other option.
That was a declaration I made for me. I don’t care how you choose to feed your baby. Frankly, it’s none of my business. Breastfeeding isn’t all that different from many other issues we face in life – it’s not one size fits all.
I know that I’m lucky to have had that choice, especially as a working mom. I’ve had flexible work arrangements; private, appropriate places to pump (i.e. not a bathroom); access to a refrigerator to store pumped milk; and colleagues that have always been respectful.
I’ve also been fortunate enough to live and work in Champaign-Urbana, where I’ve never been further than 15 minutes away from my babies. I have a supportive, loving husband who has never pressured me one way or the other.
My older kids are fascinated by the nursing. In fact, they’ve taken to “nursing” their own babies while I feed their sister. It’s very cute watching them feed – first on one side, then on the other. They want to drink more water and they are meticulous burpers. They love to watch me pump (weird!) and observe how much is coming out. I’m certainly glad that they have taken such an interest, but I also want them to know that they have options, that they need to do what is best for their family — and especially their baby.
Breastfeeding is the path I’ve taken, and I’m proud that I’ve made it seven weeks with Neena. But I am — in all sincerity — the reluctant breastfeeder.
Laura Weisskopf Bleill is the co-founder and editor of chambanamoms.com. You can reach her at laura@chambanamoms(dot)com.