By Gina Johnson
Throughout, the last three years, I have worked very hard to better manage my responses to negative life situations, negative people and negative things.
One of the most significant things I have done to counterbalance negativity with positivity is to find and post 10 good things on Twitter each weekday. At times this has been challenging, but it has helped me improve my outlook on life and become a more productive person.
I have also utilized a few other techniques to directly deal with a host of negative issues. Listed below are five steps that have effectively helped me deal with negativity.
1) Is this a healthy use of my time? Some negative stuff is healthy to attend to (i.e., relationship difficulties, grief and loss issues) and some negative stuff is best to ignore (i.e., gossip and drama). When I am faced with a negative issue, I often ask myself, ”Is this a healthy use of my time and energy?” If the answer is “no,” I quickly attempt to move forward. If the answer is “yes,” I proceed to Step 2.
2) What are my feelings? When I notice that I am in a situation with a negative “feel,” I ask myself the following questions: “Where am I experiencing this situation in my body?” “Do I need to take some deep breaths?” ”What do I need to do to feel more at ease?” This practice helps me remain in the moment and helps me maintain a sense of emotional control.
3) What’s my self-talk? Self-talk awareness is crucial to my mental/emotional well being. I also know that I can make any situation better or worse through the quality of my self-talk. For this reason, I find it imperative to check on the quality of my self-talk by asking myself the following questions: “Are my thoughts based on the here and now or an old story from the past?” “Are my thoughts factually based?” “Are my thoughts helpful or hurtful?”
4) What’s the plan? Upon understanding my feelings and thoughts about a negative situation, it is often helpful for me to identify whether or not there is anything I can do to make things better. If there are action steps I can take, it is helpful for me to list those steps, select one or two, and plan a date/time to take those steps.
On the other hand, if there is nothing tangible that I can do to make the negative situation better, it is most helpful for me to work on accepting the situation. During such times, I usually have to revisit Steps 2 and 3 several times!
5) What are the goodthingz? Throughout each and everyday (and negative situation), I make time for things I enjoy. I schedule goodthingz breaks into each of my days. Such breaks consist of listening to my favorite music, looking at colorful magazines and taking my dogs for short walks outside. Sometimes the goodthingz breaks are long, and sometimes they are short. Sometimes I struggle to enjoy myself and other times I am fully in the moment. What matters most is that I continually make time for the good things in life!
These are a few steps/techniques that help me effectively deal with negativity. It is my hope that some of these techniques are helpful to you.
Please share any tips you have for dealing with the negative stuff in life. I love hearing what works for other people.
Gina Johnson is a certified life coach and licensed clinical social worker at Blueprint in St. Joseph. Gina enjoys working with people of all ages, and helps them achieve goals such as enhanced self-awareness, healthy stress management, increased self-confidence, improved parenting skills and effective communication and interpersonal skills. Learn more about Gina at www.takeonalife.com and www.mygoodthingz.com.