I’m supposed to write a little something for all of you to read each week. But, I’m failing–miserably. Lately—no matter how hard I try–I cannot string together any thoughts worth sharing. I sit down to write—and nothing.
I’ve hit a wall. A big brick wall.
I think it’s my first case of writer’s block.
Instead of forcing something, I’m going to give an update on my latest cycle—just the facts—nothing frilly. It’s therapeutic for me to share the details with someone—anyone. So, be that someone and read along.
This was our first month trying to conceive after our miscarriage and my laparoscopic surgery to diagnose and remove endometriosis. I fooled myself into believing this was going to be it–our lucky month.
I took pills. I gave myself injections. I produced one perfect follicle and I ovulated right on time. My hubby gave the “best sample of his life” according to our favorite nurse—and he beamed with pride as the nurse showed us his sperm-count, mobility and motility.
What is it with hubbies and sperm-count-pride anyway?
We timed our IUI perfectly. And, then we waited.
I’m at the end of that two-week-wait now. I’ve peed on seven home pregnancy tests and they’ve all been negative. I go in later today for my BETA. Unless I’m some freak-being who doesn’t produce positive home pregnancy tests yet still produces enough HCG hormones to trigger a positive blood test–I already know the outcome.
Tonight, I’ll cry alone in my shower.
Then I’ll snap out of it. I’ll put my game-face on. And, I’ll try again.
The truth is—I want to announce my pregnancy. I want to write about that. I want to write witty little ditties about morning-sickness, big veiny bubbies, food cravings and swollen extremities. I’m sick of writing about trying to conceive.
But, it is what it is. Maybe next month, right?
So, that’s this Wannabe Mom’s update. Anyone care to share theirs?
Or, how about suggesting a topic for me to write about next week? I need something good to bulldoze through this writer’s block-big-brick-wall.