by Michelle Glick
The gifts are opened, the sumptuous food has been gobbled up, holiday travel and family activities are coming to a close. Soon, too soon, we will lay in bed thinking, “I don’t want to go back to work!”
But as adults, we shrug it off, start setting the alarm again, and get ready to rejoin that regular routine we call our life. But as much as we may dread going back to work, and let’s be honest, some will even rejoice in returning to that structured familiar routine, many of our children will not. After all, when they are young, there is no place that they would rather be then with YOU. And after so much family time it can be like the first day of school all over again.
Now, some of our children had no trouble with the start of school and they will have no trouble moving out of holiday/family mode and back into their dependable daily routines. If you have that type of child, Happy New Year to you and count your blessings. For the rest of us, we cannot stop their pain of separation but we can help ease it a bit.
Here are a few simple steps to help them transition back:
1. Talk to your child. It is best to either have this discussion the night before or the
morning of re-entry into your daily routine. You don’t want to begin discussing this too early because it will just give them more time to be anxious. Young children LOVE to hear how you are feeling especially when you share that you have the same emotions that they have. This can be a very soothing exchange. I might say, “I am feeling sad that tomorrow I have to go back to work and we won’t get to be together so much. I had so much fun spending all this time with you. I am going to miss you.” Then ask them how they are feeling about the situation. This process begins to validate their feelings.
2. Model how you process this. “But then I think about how I have fun at work and you have fun at school and then we are together again so I know it will be OK even if I do miss you.” It is also helpful to remind your child of all the aspects of the day they enjoy.
3. Stay calm even if your child isn’t. Young children have no control over their emotions. They look to their parents for help navigating situations. When you are outwardly calm it reassures them that you have trust in the situation and you know everything will be OK.
4. Say your goodbyes quickly. The more you respond to crying, the more crying you will get. A good hug, kiss and a statement like “I love you. Have a great day and when I pick you up I can’t wait to hear all about your day,” can go a long way.
Now calmly allow the process to proceed and this too shall pass.
Michelle Glick has been an educator for 23 years, first as an elementary school teacher in the Chicago Public Schools and currently at a Chicago preschool. Using those experiences, she is writing a book on play and school readiness. When not teaching or spending time with her husband and 7-year-old son, Michelle loves to volunteer in her community with a goal of improving the lives of women and children.
This is Michelle’s second column on parenting for Chambanamoms.com.
What are your tips for getting back into the routine after the holiday break?